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What’s the big mystery about many women liking to play in the bedroom, but wanting proper respect outside the bedroom? It makes perfect sense to me and doesn’t mystify me at all.

That’s where the saying, “A lady in public and a whore in private” comes from.

Women like that are awesome! They’re proper and respectable in public so you can take them home to mom and be proud, and introduce them to coworkers and be proud, and if a guy goes to church, he can bring her there and be proud fo her. She won’t embarrass him in public with slutty behavior because she is a respectable lady.

Yet in private she’s got a lot of pentup bad girl that needs to be released and she wants to play hard and naughty. What’s wrong with that? Nothing! Polar women like this are fantastic!

I prefer women who are proper and respectable in public and naughty in private. That’s where the saying, “Naughty, but nice” comes from, or as I like to say, “Nice and naughty”.

It’s about keeping behavior appropriate to the circumstances and moment. I love women like that.

By contrast, I had two GFs who were consistently naughty and they embarrassed me and humiliated me many times in public. Like one time I introduced one of them to my 80 year old neighbor ladies and she told them a blow job joke. OMG. Not funny.

At the other extreme of consistent behavior is the girls/women who are consistently proper at all times in all places. Good in public, but frustrating in the bedroom. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is for a man to be with a beautiful women who won’t do anything in bed her mom or preacher didn’t give her permission to do?

Women who display consistant behavior across all circumstance (i.e. – all good girl or all bad girl) are always inappropriate a portion of the time. Women who adapt their behavior to the circumstance are behaving appropriately to the situation. i.e. – a lady in public, and a naughty spankofile in private who might even let a guy do some things he’s never done before.

Women want to be spanked for a variety of reasons. Summerizing can leave many things unexplained, however, I was asked by a women to spank her on a regular basis (and it does not involve sex). In her own words without editing:

“i have many reasons for wanting to be spanked. The reasons vary but i have an emotional and physical need to be spanked. Here are a few reasons:

1. i enjoy being spanked
2. i need the discipline
3. i need to answer to someone
4. spankings keep me grounded…keeps me from getting to big for my pants….i have a lot of authority with my job and it helps me from abusing that authority
5. i like the feeling of having someone control me
6. if i have done something wrong for a punishment spanking it does help me with guilt feelings for what i have done once i have been spanked
7. it relieves stress and tension for me
8. if a spanking is done correctly it makes me feel safe and secure

i like having to submit and place myself over your lap. i also enjoy being taken in hand as i like that type of dominance and physical control.”

My girlfriend loves for me to pull her hair, smack her face and spank her. The harder I hit, the harder we both orgasm. However, she only wants it sometimes. Other times, she wants to be the one on top and while I don’t like being hit or having my hair pulled, I love doing it to her.

It makes the whole experience so much more enticing when I do it. Why is it that she only wants it sometimes and others she wants to be the dominate one? She understands my likes though and only bites and rubs my softly while she is on top. I just don’t understand why she changes so drastically between our sex. We usually have sex every other day, or every day. It’s been like this the whole year we’ve been dating. Any ideas as to why?

As God is my witness, I met a lady online in Siberia and just returned from a trip, 1/21/10, to meet her in person. She begged me to spank her which I had never done before and doing it it freaked me out. I found this web page researching if a woman wanting to be spanked is perverted but apparently it’s an OK thing. I did what she ask but after the one and only belt session I put ice on her butt because I felt so guilty and wanted to prevent any bad bruising. She enjoyed the abuse so much and had such intense climaxs that I hated to deny her such pleasure and, because I think it’s important to be a good lover. It was extremely difficult for me to strike her because I had to go to a very dark place in me. I’ll probably have to go into therpy now after all this.

All this generalization is ridiculous. Some women liked to be spanked, some women don’t. Just as some men like to be spanked.

I personally like spanking in the bedroom. I have found that I have two warring aspects of my personality—and I am sure it is the same for a lot of the independent women who like to be spanked. Part of me wants to feel dominated and overpowered by a strong man, a man who has a calm and self-confident demeanor that also makes me feel like no matter what, everything will turn out ok. The other part of me doesn’t need protection, doesn’t want my freedom checked or reigned in by anyone, she is self-confident and proud of herself and has no problem making her own decisions and dealing with the consequences of them. The point is: I need both sides to feel whole. The men that think I don’t need pride or independence and that I should always submit to my man, need to reign in their pride a bit. If you can’t feel like a man without dominating your woman, you need to take a hard look at your own insecurities, because it’s ok for men to submit too. Maybe you need to forgive yourself for being insecure.

We all need balance. No one in this world is just one thing all the time. We all want to play multiple roles, because we are all complex individuals. Men should not expect women to be one thing all the time, just because we like to be independent and strong in one area of our lives doesn’t necessarily mean we want it in others. Or that we don’t.